Fuck Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck

I think it's fair to say that profanity is as readily acceptable in society as wearing clothes when going out in public.  Some yuppies might frown against the idea of using profanity but let's be honest, everyone uses it.  Nice people try covering it up by saying "fudge" instead of "fuck."  You know what these twats meant to say, but they're trying to be clean about it.

What irks me, however, is when people say something like "Fuck that guy!" and then follow it up with "Please excuse my language."  No, I won't.  You used profanity on purpose, to make your statement bolder, to give it more pizazz, if you will.  It's not like the phrase "please excuse my language" is supposed to exonerate you from using the "F-word."  Please, get over yourself.  You used profanity, accept it.  In case you're wondering, the phrase "please excuse my language" is a pussy phrase and not Patriotic.

Just as bad, however, is the OVER use of profanity.  Teenage kids and girls do this a lot, as well as my friend Lars Ulrich from Metallica.  I believe he described the writing of the infamous The Black Album as "a mother fucker."  What the hell does that mean?  How is writing an album, or anything for that matter, "a mother fucker?"  All I know is that he plays drums and makes more money than me, so maybe I don't have much of an argument or defense.

But still, overuse of profanity is not badass, just annoying.

The local parking enforcer is a cunt

I'm sure some visitors to this site wonder, "hey, what does this brown guy get annoyed by?" Good question, imaginary visitor. Bad teeth annoy me.

But do you know what else annoys me? Regular people who try to enforce traffic/parking and have NO business doing so. I parked in a garage as I was arriving to my client's site this morning. As I entered the garage, I immediately turned left to look for a space. I have done this EVERY TIME I visit this site and I have seen others do the same.

This morning, as I turned I stopped because there was a bitch and her two kids who had just parked. The reason I stopped was out of common courtesy, giving pedestrians the right-of-way. Mind you, I had to have been at least 20' away, I mean I wasn't even close. But this bitch was shaking her head, in disgust. As if I had spilled curry all over my car, if I had used foul language around her kids or stolen some naan.

Nope, she was mad because I turned and was going the wrong way in a one-way lane. As I passed her she even said "this lane is one-way". The parking lot enforcer. I wanted to park quickly so I COULD yell obsenities and tell her what's what! But, alas, the Twat Magillacutty and her kids were long gone.

Well you know what, WHO GIVES A RATS ASS IF I DROVE IN THE WRONG LANE FOR 30 SECONDS, YOU DUMB BITCH?!? I'm in a covered parking garage, no other cars were around me and there was no disruption. I didn't stop traffic, prevent others from parking, or have too much paan in my mouth! If anything, you standing in the middle of the lane like a fishy twat was more of a disruption than anything I was doing.

Now I am certainly not one to hold back when it comes to bad driving. I curse and scream when people cut me off or purposely prevent me from changing lanes even when I have my indicator on. And believe it or not, I can get over the little things like, I don't know, LOOKING FOR PARKING! But it was the look you gave! It was SUCH a dirty look, a look you give to an actual bad guy! It was as if the student biryani was not spicy enough and you paid me top dollar for it. You'd think I actually offended this gigantic cunt. Well you know what, Twat Magillacutty? You and your mom jeans (and that awful haircut) can go lick it. I will make sure to turn left EVERY time I enter this garage and EVERY time I visit this client. I will NEVER explore any other part of the garage. I'll double park if I have to, just so I can continue to drive the wrong way.